In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Although marriage appears to be merely a social institution, it is a form of worship in Islam because many material and spiritual benefits are associated with it. There is no other religion or social law that can match the considerations Islam has shown towards the emotional and natural needs of human beings. That is why Islam has declared marriage as a form of worship and a tradition (Sunnah) of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم ).
Consequently, marriage becomes a form of worship and a source of peace and tranquility only when it is performed according to the Islamic way. Nowadays Muslims, turning away from their faith and following the footsteps of non-Muslim societies, have completely changed the face of this worship. We try to please everybody in our wedding and cannot bear to see anybody unhappy except Allah (SWT) and His Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم ). It does not matter to us if Allah (SWT) and His Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم ) are disobeyed and displeased with us (We seek Allah’s protection from this) but our brothers, sisters, relatives and friends must not be unhappy.
This Fitnah has become so widespread among Muslims, that even those who are considered pious become involved in this one way or another. All of those things that are in disobedience of Allah (SWT) have become an integral part of our wedding ceremonies. Photography, video, music, dancing, free mixed gatherings of the opposite sex, lewd and shameless dresses & nature of various non Islamic activities have become the norm of our wedding ceremonies. We have basically imported, imitated and implemented rituals from other cultures and religions such as the customs of the Hindus and others into this highly blessed act of worship weeks leading to the day of wedding, during the wedding itself and carrying on days after the wedding.
As stated above numerous acts of great disobedience take place in these events, namely the intermingling and interaction of men and women in a, generally, crowded and confined space. Creating such a situation is undoubtedly Harām and sinful, and violates core Islāmic principles of modesty and gender segregation. It is all the more egregious that it is done during this kind of event which clearly defies Nikah, a highly blessed act of worship itself as a sacred institution immensely beloved to Allāh (SWT) & the Sunnah of our beloved Nabi Kareem Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم ). The Quran commands averting the gaze from what is forbidden (Quran, 24:30), while there is no doubt that looking at Haram will be inevitable for many who attend these events.
Normally no wedding ceremony takes place without these evils even if Allah’s curse falls upon them. As a result, not only the bride and bridegroom, but all the participants also take back with them the curse of Allah (SWT) and Allah’s wrath descends upon these types of gatherings. Whereas this is the time when the new couple direly need the blessings of Allah (SWT) because no human being can join their hearts; only Allah has the power to unite the two hearts in harmony. Even the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم ) was cautioned in the holy Qur’an about this: “And He has united their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the Earth, you could not have united their hearts.” (Surah Al-Anfal, verse #63)
Marriage ceremonies should be as simple as possible. Extravagances result in impoverishment. The Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم ) has said: “Indeed, the most prosperous marriage is the one in which the smallest possible amount of money is spent.” (Musnad Ahmad)
It is Sunnah to have a Walimah on the day after the wedding ceremony and the time for Walimah is after the marriage has been consummated (It could be during the night of the wedding or whenever). The Walimah should be simple and according to what one can afford, without any lavishness and show off. These days people tend to invite only the rich to their weddings & Walimahs who can bring expensive gifts. Some people will express desire and even openly say, “Please, no gifts, only money.” Ajeeb! Not many really care about the poor. Although, by inviting the poor it is possible that someone, in true appreciation, heartily prays for the couple, and consequently Allah (SWT) may bless the marriage. The Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم ) has said: The worst feast is the feast of Walimah in which the rich are invited and the poor are ignored.” (Bukhari)
May Allah (SWT) accept our marriages and grant us the wisdom to perform them according to the Sunnah. Aameen.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and does not necessarily reflect Alfafaa’s editorial views